Overly Pampered

Looks like what I said in the previous post came true: “challenge is good, it gives us awareness of what we lack in”. This time, I am placed in a totally new situation which I have never experienced before – handling difficult people. I have never been good in managing relationships with others, what more with those who are in an “emotional” state.

To add on, I have never tasted real scolding as a result of committing huge mistakes. The lack of failure in the past has overshadowed my resistance towards hardship and all in all, moulded me into what I am today – overly pampered. After today’s incident, I just realised that I am extremely vulnerable when being put into a tough situation. I need to know how to manage my own disappointment and at the same time, manage the other party’s feelings and demands. As managing difficult people will be part of everyday life, I guess I need more practice to improve my defence mechanism and be seasonalised. Everybody has to start somewhere!

Suddenly I Realised …

I have all along remained in my own fairy-tale land where everything goes according to plan. Today is the “sudden” day when I “suddenly” face challenges that totally slapped me in the face. This is only when I realised that I am not all that superior in what I have been doing.

Challenge is good. It keeps us awake and aware of what we are lacking of. It allows us to understand ourselves better, of what we are capable and what we are not. For my situation, I had to put the blame on my own disgusting habit of finishing work last minute. If it was not for the lack of time, things would have been much better as I would have much more time to prepare for the worst.

Nonetheless, rather than complaining and feeling gloomy about the despair these challenges bring about, I decided to take an initiative to plan for my next action, and improve on what I am weak in. Saying is easy, implementing is difficult. I must persevere and strengthen my mentality in moving forward. I must learn from my mistake and emerge as a better me!

Who Is Chin Wynn?

Out of my most absurd mind, I randomly googled my own name to find out “who is Chin Wynn”. And so, I arrived at my own blog, out of a whole list of relevant Chin Wynn results which I am known for. I did not realised that I have not been blogging for the past 1.5 years, amid the fainting trend of youngsters expressing their emotions and thoughts in public blogs.

It is a whole new shocking experience, trying to read back my posts and trying to understand my perception and mindset back then, especially as a character who is submerged in the sea of the workforce. One thing is for sure – I was really unpredictable and my thoughts were as volatile as the foreign exchange rates, despite appearing steady and unfaltering on the surface. Yet, that is how I got through my life and achievements thus far, and I believe this shall persist with myself reaching even greater heights and feats moving forward.

(Oh bother, my language and writing skills really deteriorated compared to what I am reading from the posts below. Talking about being a writer of credit rating reports and author of a self-help book. I really need to catch up with the old Chin Wynn.)

Below is a video questioning who am I by my favourite artist, Will Pan. Please enjoy, if at all possible.

Lesson to be Learnt

After one whole week of studying in Taylor’s Lakeside Campus, I have learned a very valuable lesson. It has been awkward being questioned and stared throughout the week because of my return to Malaysia. What’s more was when the lecturers said something indirectly related to me, everybody gave me the look.

I admit that I felt inferior due to my return that most people perceive it as a failure of being able to adapt to the overseas environment. It is difficult going through these times when I have to face this fact and carry on with my life. Now I know what does it mean when I studied Business and Society and they said that begging is work. This is because a beggar needs to face the humiliation that the public perceives of him/her when begging for money. It is a difficult task trying to overcome that humiliation and feeling of inferiority.

I know I am exaggerating my situation. But I did learn something from here. I should not look down on those who did not do well in their studies. I admit that I may sometimes have overlooked this and have this mindset. The fact that I felt inferior because of this is evidence that I had this stereotype. If I do not have this perception, I wouldn’t have felt so inferior of studying back in Malaysia.

From now on, I have learnt my lesson and I will not look down on those who perform poorly in their studies. People should always be given second chances and me as well. I’ll show the world what I am capable of!

Life is Never Miserable When You Have A Goal

To solve some of your confusion, I officially announce that I am coming back to Taylor’s to study for my final year of Bachelor of Applied Finance.

This might sound absolutely astounding, ridiculous, irrational or whatever you call it, but it is my decision and I believe that I will be better off back in Malaysia.

Yes, I am an MACC Scholarship recipient and I have a contract which binds me to study there for 2 years. But I have appealed to University of South Australia and I am very grateful, till today, that they understand my reasons and approved my appeal.

No, I did not fail my subjects nor did I do badly in my exams throughout the whole year of studies in Adelaide. In fact, I got High Distinctions for most of my courses; and that may make you wonder more why I chose to come back.

I won’t be telling my reasons so soon, and I don’t want to answer to these sort of questions in the meantime. So please don’t bother asking me! But I promise that you will know everything about it once I’m ready. That is the Goal that I’m working towards now.

This video says it all, especially the chorus:

Back From An Adelaide Dream

It’s been awhile since I last blog, which was before the exams when I started thrusting all I have to reach out for the best grades. And now I did it! I am really amazed with how miracles work sometimes, and I am deeply grateful with the blessing from God.

I THANK GOD FOR REWARDING MY HARD EFFORT WITHOUT FAIL EVERY TIME!

It really is worthwhile going through all the pain when others were enjoying, as the end result is always pleasant for those who are hardworking.

Being the less than 1% of students to score in HD’s in most of the subjects I’m taking does indeed give me some sense of achievement.

Kangaroo Island
After exams, I went to KI at South Australia with my friends, namely Shu Yi, Vernon, Nai Loong, Victor, Chi Hui, Kel Li and Jennifer. It was one of the best trips I ever had because I really let go all my despair and misery throughout the 4 days 3 nights retreat over there.

Jennifer, you are really a hilarious person which awakened the cheerful personality within myself. That was the first time I actually let go everything without any control, and I did played and laughed all I wanted to without feeling embarrassed or retarded. I will always remember you so that I can look things at a more positive and cheerful perspective.

Shu Yi, I am amazed with your dual personality as you can be serious at times when handling problems, but you do also have your crazy side as well. You have all these while been a very helpful friend, and I know that is what you do best. Your kindness and potential will surely be blessed. I promise that I will meet up with you whenever we have the chance because you are as good as a sister to me. I really thanked you for accompanying me in going through all the difficult times in Adelaide.

Escort to Airport
I have to really thank all those who came along with me to the airport before I depart to Kuala Lumpur. I really appreciate Vernon, Vincent (Vernon’s younger brother), Nai Loong and Shu Yi.

Vernon, you are another guy that I will never be able to forget. A lamester is what you can be known as, alongside your younger brother, Vincent. Both of you have really many similar personalities. I really enjoyed my time spent with both of you. When there’s the V’s, there’s no such thing as “boredom” anymore. Life is awesome with you around seriously.

Nai Loong, of all people in Adelaide, you were the one who helped me the most. Most of the cooking has been done by you when we were all busy preparing for exams. You were the one who helped me packed my stuff and carried on with the things I need to leave in Adelaide. You were also the one who took me to the Royal Adelaide Hospital when I was in severe condition; you waited for that whole day till I was discharged from the hospital. You were the one who expressed loads of concern with my mood and health, though it might have become excessive in my opinion which I sometimes don’t really enjoy. I cannot deny that I do owe you due to your immense helpfulness. You will always be my close friend.

Farewell Adelaide
Memories of the people who expressed much concern and helped me will always remain in my heart. Su Ling, Jeffrey, Eric, Michelle Chin, and all my friends, thanks for being a friend to me and lightened my loneliness. We might never be able to meet again but all of you have already became part of my heart.

I dare say that Your appearance in my life is significant to me!

No More Facebook For Me!

Probably this is the page that you will visit next after you find out my disappearance in Facebook.

Yes, I have deactivated my Facebook account so that I can fully concentrate on my final exams.

My discipline level is extremely low and I have poor concentration span on studies. I will need to boost it up and give in all I can to secure my ultimate goal of this semester – 2 High Distinctions and 2 Distinctions.

Though it may be difficult to achieve, I will fully utilise the time and ability I have to put a smile on my face on 11th December.

I’ll be back to Malaysia on 9th December 9pm if you would want to know.

See ya!

Exam Fever

Looks like everyone is busy with their studies now, with the exception of PMR students. High school friends are having their final examination, and SPM friends are waiting impatiently for their biggest exams after their trials. In my case, I have only 27 days left before my finals commence.

Ever since I fell sick during the mid-semester break, I haven’t been able to catch up with my studies. I haven’t been so unprepared before throughout my whole tertiary studies. I will definitely need to put in ten times the effort compared to last semester due to all the tough subjects that I am taking.

However, I can’t believe that I am going down the hill as the war draws in nearer. I am becoming lazier and less discipline compared to ever before. I even left my Companies and Partnership Law assignment to be dealt completely on the due date. I rather sit down chit-chatting with friends on the night before the due date till 3am than starting my 1,500 words case analysis.

Now, I am even further tempted by the Play Station emulator that I have recently downloaded onto my laptop. I started playing back all my old games like Chocobo Racing, Digimon Rumble Arena, Digimon Card Battle, etc all on my laptop. This really delays my attempt to catch up with my studies.

Hence, now I have come to a resolution to resist all temptations. I really need to commit myself if I want to succeed. It is me and myself who should realise what is the meaning of time is drawing to an end.

I hereby wish everyone who will be having their major and end of year exams all the best, and may everyone win!

 

DJ Got Us Falling Sick Again

Is it just me or what? Why do I always fall sick when the holidays start?

Stupid me for shouting my throat out during the karaoke session on Monday. I didn’t know 6 hours of back-to-back singing aka shouting can have such disastrous effects. I just wanted it to be worth the money. Is that too much to ask for?

5 days have passed and I have not touched a single book related to studies. I feel so unproductive, lying on the bed or staring in front of my beloved laptop from day to night. I just have no energy to do anything. I can even barely walk on the streets without my body shivering vigorously.

Just when I’m mentally strong, I become physically weak. When will I only be able to focus completely on my well left-behind studies?

Young Again

Recently, I have been stressed up with the immense workload targeting me from all directions. The main thing is my studies which I have failed to cope up with ever since I had been tested with completing 4 assignments in 5 days. It was quite long ago, but I didn’t get the chance to chase all the tutorial works that I missed out till now.

And then just a week ago, I have been appointed as the Vice President of  UniSA Division of Business Taylor’s Student Group (TSG) after an official procedures of submitting a resume and going for an interview by Kelvin and Vernon. The past week was full of meetings because the new committee was still under the probationary period and every department is required to organise meetings so that they can come up with their proposals. By attending those meetings, I admit that I have lost touch with plenty of my tutorials and readings.

Finally what I have been waiting for has come, the holidays! Thank God we UniSA students have 2 weeks of study break compared to the 1 week break when I was still in Taylor’s.

And most of all, I managed to release a whole load of stress by making a move in solving a personal matter which have troubled me all these while. I am really proud of myself for gathering up the courage to face this matter where an average person would find it extremely difficult to do so. Although my problem is not completely solved, I have at least let go some of my suicidal concerns.

Just a few days ago, I have been telling Su Ling and Michelle Chin Yoke Peng (my new friend who shares the same name with my 5th aunt and also the facial appearance) that I realised myself looking older by 10 years after having a stare at the mirror. It was all those stress that was causing this. But today, I see myself young again probably because of the optimism filled within me.

A big change has just happened to me, and I’m glad that it did. I promise myself to keep my spirits high and push myself beyond the current limit!